Lately

Lately I have been struggling with my decisions, and wondering whether or not they are good ones or bad ones. I have so many different situations going on that it’s getting hard to keep them all straight, between work, school, kids, baby daddy, and new boyfriend, who I just moved in with, my head is spinning. Work is stressful because people are always breathing down your neck, talking behind your back and waiting for you to mess up so they can have something to talk about. School is hard. The assignments came back to back every day. It is very hard to make sure you get everything done. Once you get one thing done here is something else to do and make sure you don’t forget anything. My kids are great but I barely get to see them and interact with them. I’m so tried by the time I see them all I want them to do is be quite and settle down. I know that all they want to do is talk to me and play. I just wish I had the time and energy for my kids. My baby daddy can be very difficult sometimes, one minute he is bagging me to come home, and in the next minute he wants me to let my kids come stay with him. The problem with this is that I can’t live without my kids and I’m doing all of this for them. I’m afraid that one day he is really going to be pissed that I am not coming back that he will try to take me to court for custody and he might win because I’m so busy. Last but not least is living and getting use to my boyfriend. His great person but everybody has their ways and some of his are hard for me to deal with and lately I feel like we are just getting on each other’s nerves. I feel like I’m going on a downward spiral. I just hope it turns around soon.