A mothers wrath

Today I found out what it’s like to be a mother and having to protect my kids. My kids father has get it in his head   that he should fight me for joint custody of our kids. Now probably wouldn’t have been a problem if he didn’t tell me that I was the reason why he couldn’t be a good dad. That shit just put me in such a bad place because first off, I have never kept his kids away from him or ever told him no when it comes to them. He when he came to me with this he was very hustle and just approached me in the wrong way. I feel that he is not justified in even asking me to share my kids for six months at a time. For one he doesn’t call his kids. He waits for me to call him. Second he doesn’t contribute finically for his kids. My boyfriend pays the bills that he should be paying like childcare. Third he is already struggling to keep his own household to together and take care of his other three kids, so why would I send two more kids and add to his load. In his head none of this things matter he wants his kids. I refused to let him have my kids for six months straight and I told him he could have them every weekend. He wouldn’t agree to it and it just made things worse. I have never been in this place it’s like we are at war. In the eight years that we were together I and he never fought like we did today and I really just don’t know how to handle this. I feel attacked and threatened and it puts me in a dark place.

Trust issues

Some people are just plain mean and fake. Why is it that humans just can’t be genuine and honest? Honestly is one of the easiest reactions but it is the hardest for most people to practice.

This week has been hell at work. Everybody has their friends at work. I only had two friends Jessica and Patti. The reason why I only have two is because it’s hard for me get close or let people get close to me. Well, today I found out that Patti set me up at work and got me in trouble. I don’t know why she did it but I would like to know the reason.

I am the type of person that can take constructive criticism, if I am doing something wrong I would like to know, and I don’t like to be the last to know. I will go to a person and tell them if there is a problem. My mom always told me ‘’ never burn your bridges’’. I try not to end any type of relationship on bad terms. I am friends with all of my exes, and I can have good conversations any of them and I am a good problem solver. It is not hard for me to work out any problem if I know about it.

When I found out what Patti had done I was shocked. I didn’t know that there was a problem between us. I was hurt at the fact that she didn’t have the guts to come to me first. What makes it worse is the fact that she put my job on the line. Close friends don’t cross each other that way. I don’t even know how to address the problem now. Do I just stop talking to her? , do I ask her why she did it? , or do I cuss her out?

This whole situation has me questioning who I can and cannot trust. It brings the trust issues I have back up, and It has me wondering about my other relationships with the other people in my life.

This sucks