A mothers wrath

Today I found out what it’s like to be a mother and having to protect my kids. My kids father has get it in his head   that he should fight me for joint custody of our kids. Now probably wouldn’t have been a problem if he didn’t tell me that I was the reason why he couldn’t be a good dad. That shit just put me in such a bad place because first off, I have never kept his kids away from him or ever told him no when it comes to them. He when he came to me with this he was very hustle and just approached me in the wrong way. I feel that he is not justified in even asking me to share my kids for six months at a time. For one he doesn’t call his kids. He waits for me to call him. Second he doesn’t contribute finically for his kids. My boyfriend pays the bills that he should be paying like childcare. Third he is already struggling to keep his own household to together and take care of his other three kids, so why would I send two more kids and add to his load. In his head none of this things matter he wants his kids. I refused to let him have my kids for six months straight and I told him he could have them every weekend. He wouldn’t agree to it and it just made things worse. I have never been in this place it’s like we are at war. In the eight years that we were together I and he never fought like we did today and I really just don’t know how to handle this. I feel attacked and threatened and it puts me in a dark place.